Tis the Season

Today is December 21, 2010,... the first day of winter and four days before Christmas.  As keeping with the season, it has snowed leaving a beautiful blanket of white fluffy topping which enhances our vision and enthusiasm for this time of year.  So what is your favorite part of this holiday season?  Is it the decorating and the baking?  The children and their eagerness for the jolly old elf to arrive?  Is it the Christmas pageant at church or the cantata?  Or is it having family and friends that bring the magic to your holiday?  I think it is all of the above.  It is our belief system and what the season represents.  The Christmas star that graces the evergreen and the manger's prestigious place on the mantle.  It is Christmas morning (or noon in most cases) when the family arrives all excited to see what is under the tree; to see what delicious food awaits their arrival, and to show everyone what they received earlier that morning in the form of gifts.  It is singing happy birthday to a very special baby renewing the reason for the season.  It is thanking our Greater Being for all the blessings in our lives.

So today before I sign off, I want to thank each and every one of you for visiting my blog,  sharing your insights, and being a friend to someone needing your support.  I wish you all a very Merry Christmas.  May you be blessed with peace and love this holiday season.

A Penny For Your Thoughts

Napolean Hill said, "Thoughts are things and that whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, he will achieve.  Think well and you will grow rich."  Did you realized that everything in the world starts with a single thought?  The Declaration of Independence started with a thought as did the automobile, the TV, the computer,  and something as simple as a candle. The mind is incapable of not thinking and it is estimated that a person can have as many as 50,000+ thoughts per day.  Perhaps this is where the saying, "A Penny For Your Thoughts" came from....imagine how much money one could make from just thinking without effort? 
Today my thoughts embrace the beauty of the snowfall which enhances the holiday season. I laugh at the dog who tries to catch the snowflakes in her mouth; I relish the peace that encompasses my being; I enjoy the laughter the first snowfall brings to neighborhood children; and the beauty which graces the earth.  The simplest thoughts make life rich.

Thanks for the Heroes

It is hard to believe that my last blog post was almost a month ago.  Apologies to my followers and readers.  It has  been a few very hectic months preparing for community outreach programs, etc.  One of the programs was the Holidays and Heartaches Program during which we had a panel consisting of people who have experienced losses in their lives.    A griever graduates very slowly from the one to be healed to the one who is helping heal.  I have been with most of these panelist from onset of their grief, and I breathe a sign of happiness when I recognize  them advancing in their journey.  When they begin to help others, I know they are not stuck in their grief but moving forward.  Their testimonials of the process are invaluable as it also promotes continued healing for themselves.   As we near the day of Thanksgiving, I give thanks for all these heroes who have done the work, who have gone through the pain and who recognize the need to support others.  I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and am thankful for those allowing me to be part of their journey.

Halloween Thoughts

Happy Halloween everyone!  There is always so much controversy over this day, however, I revert back to my childhood when I did not look at this day as being a satan day.....I looked at it as being a day when I could dress up as a scary person and laugh hysterically when I scared grandpa and grandma!  It did not mean anything bad..... it was just a fun day!  The school parties were exciting because we always had apples or popcorn and orange punch as well as a treat to take home.  As I grew older, I remember thinking it was cool to toilet paper someone's trees...always got a few treats, but it was more fun working with the toilet paper.  After being married, I would dress up myself to answer the door and join in the fun the children seemed to be having.  The creepy music would play, strange pumpkins would be lit and sitting on the step, and I would have as much fun as anyone.  Then I was blessed with children who went through the same joy as I did when I was a child.  Now I am grandma and I wait patiently for my grandchildren to come to my door to scare me.  (They always get some special extra treats, of course).  I think Halloween is like any other holiday we recognize...... it is what WE make it......not what the extremist want you to  think of it as.  I will share a little history of Halloween with you.  Halloween is actually inspired by religious traditions which have gotten distorted over the years.  It is actually the eve of All Saints Day which is observed on November 1.  On that day we honor all Saints in Heaven and pray for peace and rest for our departed.  Most of the customs we carry out on Halloween are remnants of the ancient religious beliefs and rituals.

So..... I don't know about you, but I am going to dress up, turn the lights on dim, play spooky music, and greet the little people with happiness.  Enjoy the event and those who knock on your door.

Happy Halloween!

The splash

Last week my husband and I took a small day trip to a place where we use to take his folks every year.  We have not been back since his folks died, so it was a bitter sweet experience.  We found ourselves taking the same route, visiting the same eating spots, and looking for the same treasures.  The trees were absolutely gorgeous, the weather was perfect,  people were laughing and enjoying themselves, and we seemed to  be handling the crowds with  minimal stress.   My husband was somewhat nostalgic as he had a tendency to want to see the things that his dad loved and would say, "do you remember dad would eat this and go back for seconds?"  I think it was a very healing day for him.    As we get older, we see the beauty in things that when younger we are too busy to see. I think I failed to see that his folks would not be making this trip forever, and how important it might be for him to revisit the place of his memories.  I am so glad we took the time, slowed our pace, and soaked in the day.  It reminds me of the ad that states, "I use to see puddles, but now I feel the splash!"

The Hunt!

I have always thought of myself as a very positive person  because I do not like to mope around and be sad.  However, sometimes life intervenes and turns us into people we do not even recognize.  So... today I am going on a treasure hunt for the things that make up that positive person I feel I have lost.

What makes a positive person and where do we begin looking?  I don’t really know other than it is individualized.  Let’s begin by looking around.. 

• “My Room”. There are a lot of positives here.... the angel, the serenity, the wrought iron cross, the rocker... the balcony.   I consider our home in general to be a positive in my life. It is security and there is no other place I would rather be.  
• Our family is a positive.  As any parent will agree,  seeing our children grown, healthy and  successful with wonderful children of their own is the greatest joy ever!
• I love my career.  Helping people through their grief journey is a satisfying and rewarding occupation.  When I recognize that someone has done the hard grief work and is recovering, that is a renewal and a positive.
• Our friends are another positive in our life.  An invitation to a week in Florida this winter is certainly something to cherish and look forward to.  How generous for someone to open their home  to others.  
• My Faith is a huge positive in my life.  It carries me through many situations.
• Izzy.. yes my dog is a positive, even though there are times I question our relationship.  She loves me no matter what our differences may be.

So... after all this search and analysis, with many positives.... what has created the negativity?  The thought process has led me to the conclusion that the negativity stems from the fact that I cannot change things with which I have no control.  I cannot save a dying relative...... I cannot change the decisions of an organization, I cannot change personalities of others, I cannot change the weather, nor can I wave a magic wand to take your pain away.   The frustration is knowing something could be better, but not having the resources, the knowledge, or the power to make it that way.

I now have to get back to the “me” before the negativity.  Memories bring back the advice I so often received from my mother:  “Give any situation that is not in your control up to your Greater Being to solve.  He can do a better job!”

Now...the test will come to live by that advice.

Difficult Moments

"We are given the desire to nurture connections, tolerate our quirks, speak the truth no matter how painful, and dream big.  We are all capable of tremendous beauty, of giving love and making the world what we want it to be."  (Author unknown)

I love this quote because it really mirrors my life in the last few weeks.  Since you do not know me personally, I must tell you that I have somewhat of a controlling personality.  I do think sometimes that I single handedly am here to change the world!  Good grief!...crazy, right?  In the last week, I have had the struggle of keeping a confidence versus fibbing.  I do not like being in this position and it is difficult to determine which is the moral thing to do.  I made a choice, ... not sure if it was correct... but it is made and I pray to my Greater Being that I made the correct choice. How often are we put in a position such as this?  We have morale obligations in which we must nurture our connections and give love in order to make things better for all concerned.  I think that is where I went and where my Greater Being would want me to go.  What are your thoughts?
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Humility

This morning as I awoke in "my room", I noticed that once again the seasons are beginning to change and the light images in the room are transforming.    As we approach fall, it appears to most that nature dies away and/or hibernates in preparation of a long winter ahead.  However, if we look closely we notice that new things come to life and the season in itself is very beautiful.  We have very large maple trees that line the back of our property and they just burst with absolute beautiful color in the fall.  The flowers that outline the pond (although I cannot give you a name at this time), transforms to a breathtaking crimson color from the rather boring green it boasts all summer.  Our garden shows signs of orange and green pumpkins, colorful gourds, and orange, brown and green bittersweet vines.  Deer have been seen standing in the garden partaking of the fresh peaches and apples that had fallen from the trees.  There are so many beautiful things about nature that we take for granted.  Once we pay attention to the gifts that have been so freely given to us, our spirits lift and the problems of the week seem to fade into a nonexistence.  Humility is about knowing who we are and what makes us content. Nature has the best example of humility.  Each season has its problems and its ugliness, but each one knows its own gift to life.... its beauty.  Thank you to our greater being for this lesson on knowing who we are and being the best we can be despite our downfalls.

Life's Cookbook

Last week I was scanning the pages of a very old cookbook purchased at an auction.  It was very explicit and detailed about how to cook things, can items, store things, clean things, and even how to set one's dinner table.  The book provided interesting reading for an afternoon, and I thought we needed such explicit instructions for other things,.... such as life itself.

How did we get here without instructions?  We learn as we go by our successes and our failures; by discovering what works and what does not, by seeking assistance and support; and by knowing our choices and making decisions based on the knowledge we have sought to make those choices.

If we were to write our recipes for our life cookbook, what would the titles read?  I imagine that each person's book would be different.  The index of my book would include such things as:  Siblings; God's Place in My Life; First Day of School; Moving; Changing Schools; Death and a New Normal; Difficult Years; First Date; Peer Pressure; Getting Married; Raising a Family; Illnesses; Career Life and Aging Gracefully.  I am sure once one gets started, it would be difficult to find an ending to our needs for guidance as there are so many stages in our lives.  If I were to write my recipe for Aging Gracefully (since that is where I am in life), I would want it to look something like this:

                      Lonnie's  Recipe for Aging Gracefully
Ingredients Needed:  1 kind soul;  a bushel of experience;  1 heart full of love;  a pinch of gray hair; a few endearing wrinkles of moderate size;  1 cup of patience;  3 cups of understanding;  2 arms full of hugs, and smiles to taste.   Gently fold all ingredients together, pour into a designer mold of your choice, and enjoy for a lifetime.

If I can follow this recipe, I will consider myself to be blessed! 

What do your recipes for life look like?

Going Home

In the last week I have heard many comments about "going home".  I have heard the words in songs, in conversations, in newspaper articles......it must be a sign to write a blog about it as well.  My cousin and I had a conversation about driving past our old houses and either being elated that the house was well maintained or disappointed that it was no longer there.  Childhood homes have a great influence on our lives.  The childhood homes had that special memory of where we played under the willow tree, got locked in the barn, cared for our pony, raised sheep, walked beans, saw my first bull snake, learned to ride a bike, read books in the orchard trees, helped make root beer, used an outhouse, and sat next to a wood burning kitchen stove to keep warm. Those were good memories because family members were all alive, and  we worked and played together. It is where we learned ethics, responsibility, manners, and it made us who we are today.   That childhood home is "The House That Built Me".   As we leave our childhood homes and experience life, we sometimes get broken and lose our way..... life happens and interferes.  How many of us try to return to that childhood house to find the old self, recapture the security, or perhaps bury the trauma we experienced.

Miranda Lambert recorded the song, "The House That Built Me".  Her lyrics are an echo of our thoughts today:
"You leave home, you move on and you do the best you can.  I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am.  I thought if I could touch the place or feel it, this brokenness inside me might start healing.  Out here its like I'm someone else; I thought maybe I would find myself; If I could just come in I swear I'll leave... won't take nothing but a memory from the house that built me."

Do you feel you can go home again to the house that built you?  Share your feelings.

Did you miss me?

In case you had not noticed, I took a break from writing my blog for a few weeks in order to complete some projects due and to rejuvenate the imagination. I sit at my desk this morning still trying to share words of wisdom and have decided that I have none. What is it that blocks a writer's ability to maintain that Rhino Spirit and bring the readers to a level of connectivity? That is a question for which I am sure the best authors in the world would like an answer.



Whatever the reason, I am sharing some thoughts with you this morning regarding the Rubik's Cube of Change. Erno Rubik created the Rubik's Cube in the 1970s in order to teach his students about 3D objects. The cube has taken on changes since that cube was originated and consequently is one of the most popular puzzles ever made. Change is inevitable in our world. Some we can cope with while others we struggle with the outcomes. Managing change means managing people's fear. Our fears prevent us from experiencing, growing, learning, and developing our strengths. We have to step outside our comfort zone and in there lies the block. I think about the opportunities I have missed because I was afraid to step outside the normality of my existence.


I give you a challenge this week. Since the Rubik's Cube changed and was successful in our world of entertainment and mind exercises......Make one change in your life that will improve your inner self no matter what the level of fear may be. Evaluate and share.

There are times when we are all extremely gullible.  By nature we are trusting of people because our parents always told us the truth, and we assume others will do the same. It is sometimes a shock to us to find out that is not always the case.  I don't know how many times I have laughed at myself for falling for someone's mischievious dialogue.

I am reminded of the student who asked people to sign a petition to eliminate the chemical, "dihydrogen monoxide"  because it causes excessive sweating and vomiting; it is a major component of acid rain; it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state;  if accidentally inahled it can kill you; it contributes to erosion; it decreases effectiveness of autmobile brakes; and it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients.  Out of the 50 people he asked, 43 said they would sign, 6 were undecided, and 1 knew that the chemical was water.  I now know for certain that there are at least 49 other gullible people besides myself.

I guess I would rather be gullible than nontrusting; rather be able to laugh at myself than take myself too seriously, and be able to learn from the dialogue maintaining my rhino spirit.

Internal Monsters

 As I was sitting in "my room" last night, I noticed unfamiliar patterns displayed on the ceiling and wall. I was intrigued and mesmerized by the different movements of the pattern and how it engulfed the entire room.  When looking to see what the origin of this pattern might be, I found a very tiny lady bug dancing across the surface of the night light in the room. When I stopped to think about it, I guess I should have been releived that it was a ladybug and not the bigger-than-life monster as it appeared to be. Lucky for me, I don't usually run into real live monsters. However, like everyone else, I have little internal monsters which, if not controlled, can become all consuming. Those monsters differ with each person, but we all know what they are.  I think as we grow older and wiser, these monsters have less influence on us and do not rear their ugly presence. We learn and discover what is important to us in life and those monsters decrease in their size and strength.   I read a book once that referred to the internal monsters as "The Skunks of Mrs. D".  I kind of like that name because it reminds me of a quote from Abraham Lincoln:  "What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself".

Life's Stories

In the theatre of life, we tell ourselves stories in order to live, and we then live in those stories. When circumstances change, or a key figure is no longer a character in that story, we then have to reconstruct our understanding of life. Such was the case 40 years ago on Father's Day when a railroad freight train rolled through a small community town leaving war-zone devastation in its path. That particular chapter of this writer's life is one that is filled with emotions, tears, fear, anger and grief. Grief of things that are no more....a home that marked our beginning,  personal belongings never to be found, baby's first pictures burned, and treasures never to be replaced.  Since that famous day so many years ago,  lives have changed, challenges conquered,  and new chapters written.

As my husband and I lead the parade in the original fire truck summoned to that scene, we will again block the pain of that father's day and instead celebate the blessings. 

Upside Down

I am sure you have heard the expression, "It turned my world upside down!"  This can be a bad thing, which is what we usually think of, such as a death, loss of a job, a natural disaster to name a few.  However, it can also be a good thing, such as a daughter's wedding, a day with the grandchildren, or an anticipated retirement.  Whatever those emotions are that surround the event, they ripple out to touch others around us.
It is from that ripple that we become attentive to other's needs and we become present in their world.  We cry with them; we laugh with them; we celebrate the good and mourn the bad.... we turn ouselves upside down in order to share their experience. 

I am reminded of the story of Winnie the Pooh where Eeyore had his tail stolen.  Eeyore was so upset that Winnie decided he would join Eeyore in his dilema and search for the missing tail.  Winnie turned his world upside down in order to retrieve the missing tail and return it to make Eeyore a very happy donkey.

It is experiences such as these that allow us to grow.  The successes and downfalls that we experience can create who we are.  Sometime we have to let the world turn us upside down so we can live right side up.

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Be Your Best

My parents were people of great intelligence and character. They taught us to love and have faith in God; by example they taught us our daily life ethics; they forced us to make difficult decisions and live with those decisions; they showed us the importance of family, and they encouraged us to be the best we could possibly be on any given day. 

What does it take to be your best?  I guess that answer would depend on who is answering.  
The issue here is are we working to raise the standards and be the best we can be?  or... are we lowering the standards in order to meet them?  If we lower the standards, how are we going to be better than the competition?  How are we going to be leaders and progress in our profession?  How are we going to gain the respect of our community and the people we serve and with whom we associate?

What will it take to be your best?
     First, decide on what it will take;  Make your time line and list your steps to get there.  Identify your support people and talk with them;  Acknowledge possible obstacles and letdowns; make your encouragement cards and post in your office; Take a deep breath and go for it.  At the end of your task, celebrate!  Be proud of your accomplishment and use your gained knowledge to help your family, your organization, but most importantly..yourself!  Congratulations

Chocolate and Books

Everyone has a favorite thing they like to do in order to relax.  One of my favorite things is to make the trip to Barnes & Noble and browse the huge assortment of knowledge that is within.  Books are so very much like people.   Some are amusing, some are mysterious, some are informational, some are less than desirable, some are romantic, some are inspirational, some are difficult to understand and are complex while others are See Jane Run books.  On my last trip to the bookstore I bought a book entitled, "Chocolate Lover's Club".  It seemed like a sensible book since I am a chocolate lover at heart.  Is the book a best seller?  Obviously not, but what catches my attention is the fact that these four women  in the book are totally different...different life styles, different levels of financial living, different intelligence, almost different worlds.  Because of their passion for chocolate, they are united and they think they can do anything, endure anything, and be anything.... they are steadfast friends over one simple common thread...CHOCOLATE!

Books can take us  places we could only dream; they allow us to transform ourselves into our heroes; They allow us to live in a castle by the ocean or a shack in the forest.  They fill our heads with knowledge and our hearts with love.  They encourage us to laugh and allow us to cry. They can be our best friends in good and difficult times.  We can escape reality by simply exploring the contents of a book.

As I was reading in "My Room" (and eating my snickers bar) I became a member of the Chocolate Lover's Club!  What fun!   I am so thankful for all those " book covers " that have been a part of my life. 
Now... before I leave you there is one last thing you must know.  Please pay attention as this is very important!  If you ever receive a text message from me that says: "Chocolate Emergency" it is imperative that you send chocolate immediately!  Have a good week and enjoy good friends, good books, and of course good chocolate.

Friends

As I sit in 'My Room' today, I am having a difficult time thinking of what I can share with you this week.  My thoughts keep returning to "friends".  So... I guess I am meant to share my feelings about friends.  I have some really great friends that I cherish more each year.  They are our biggest influence in life... we learn from each other.  As I get older, friends become so very important and special.   As Kim Anderson stated in her book, "It's such a comfort to know that whenever the stress and demands of the outside world get us down, we can count on each other's support to help build us back up.  We are there for each other through the highest and lowest of times, applauding success, and easing the pain of defeat; sharing the magic of each other's dreams... " 

Such good friends are known as my "Anyway Friends".  No matter what I do, my friends will love me anyway and vice vesa.  It is a great feeling knowing there are so many special people in my life.  We don't know what lies ahead, but what I promise is that I am here for my friends today to listen or talk, to applaud or console, and to be your anyway friend.

It is my hope that you have "anyway friends".  Have you let them know how much they mean to you?

The Climb

Today my room happens to be the veranda where I am trying desperately to rid the area of the "whirligigs" that fall continuously from the trees.  Why is it that those little whirligigs can land anywhere, and come spring without any effort, they sprout little trees.  But..., the tree I just purchased for the yard needs watering and nurturing to overcome the possibility of dying and then pray that the winter does not kill it?  I guess we all face obstacles of our own design and making.

I think about the obstacles that people face each day.  What may not be an obstacle to me, may be a mountain to someone else.  What is a struggle for me, is a blessing to another.  What is important is what we learn and experience in the process of conquoring those obstacles. We are made to overcome.   I am reminded of the song sung by Miley Cyrus, The Climb:

"There's always going to be another mountain, I'm always going to want to make it move.  Always going to be an uphill battle.  Sometimes you're going to have to lose.  Ain't about how fast I get there, ain't about what's waiting on the other side.  It's the climb.  The struggle I'm facing, the chances I'm taking.  Sometimes they knock me down, but no I'm not breaking.  I may not know it, but these are the moments that I'm going to remember most.  Just got to keep going, got to be strong, just got to keep pushing on cause there's always going to be another mountain."

So...what are your obstacles and what have you learned in the climb?

Tickles the Soul

I find that there is seldom a week go by without receiving a gift in the form of a lesson.  This week I learned that my eyes, being on the rear view mirror, cannot look forward.   We are sometimes sad over what was that is no longer, and it is hard to accept the new.  One of my clients told me this week that she cannot look back because it brings too much pain.  She must look toward the future and new life she is going to buld for herself.  Life has forever changed and she must change with it if she ever wants to be happy again. I was proud that she had come that far in her grieving process in a short time. Her comments have lingered in my mind and I wonder if I can let go of something I remember as being good and successful.  We, as humans, have a tendency to only remember the good and  discard the bad.    Am I guilty of that?  Probably, but will keep this in mind as I make attempts to redecorate the rooms of my mind .  Suzanne Willis Zoglio wrote in one of her books, "I take the time to look inside; I have the wisdom in my heart; I dream new dreams.... release the old; I live a life that tickles my soul." 

What tickles your soul?

Doing the Impossible.

Will Craig wrote an article on people believing they can do things.  The story was about a  boy who had fallen asleep in math class. He awoke when the bell rang, and hurriedly wrote down a problem on the black board which he thought was the homework.  He went home and worked diligently on the problem, but he could not figure it out.  He continued the remainder of the week to work on it knowing that he would fail if he did not come up with the answer.  Finally, he got the answer and took it to his teacher.  The teacher was amazed because the problem he solved was supposedly unsolvable.  How did he do it?  He believed it was possible. Will Craig said, "Handled effectively, beliefs can be the most powerful forces for creating good in our lives."

This story reinforces the fact that we can do anything we put our minds to.  How many times in your life have you, out of determination and positive thinking, accomplished something you once thought was impossible? Like the math problem, we break it down into steps making it more manageable until it is complete.  Our beliefs are a choice which forms our character, controls our destiny and enriches our growth

What was your impossible story?

Heroes

When we were children, we watched cartoons where there was usually a hero saving the day.   As we aged and matured, our vision of the hero changed from a cartoon figure that could fly, to real people doing great deeds.  To me, the best heros are the people who do not know they are heroes.  They do not fly,... they do not have their pictures on billboards, do not receive awards for best actor, nor are listed on the best seller list.  The true heroes are the families that struggle each day to care for loved ones, the single mother working to support her family, or the serviceman sacrificing life for his country.  It is the child sharing an ice cream cone with a hungry stranger, or a teenager giving his seat on the bus to his elder.  It is the maintenance man who gives up his time to sit and listen to a stranger who is in pain, or a pet protecting his master.  To be a  true hero, one must lose their sense of being a hero and do things simply because it is the right thing to do.

So... the question of the day is, Who are your heroes?

How Do You See?

Today's inspiration comes to me from our morning church bulletin about how we see things.  Do we see things with the eyes of our heads?  or do we see things with the eyes of our hearts?  Interesting question and one that kept coming back to me today.

I think of the mother whose child was born with deformities. To her she sees a blessing from heaven.
I think of the florist who creates a centerpiece.  She sees a masterpiece of her talents...one flower at a time. 
I think of the carpenter who makes a coffee table. He sees the wood coming to life in all its beauty to grace your home.
I think of the blind who lives in darkness.  He sees the beauty of his imagination
I think of the seamstress who sews a plain floral blouse. She sees layers of lace that bloom. 

Do we miss alot when we fail to see things with the eyes of our heart?  What eyes do you see with?

Do you believe?

 My blog posting was postponed this week due to an inner turmoil of my own, ......wondering if I can follow my own advise.   In thinking over the last week, I am reminded of the movie, Maid In Manhantan where a butler states:  "To serve people takes dignity and intelligence.  Although we serve people, we are not their servants.  What we do does not define what we are.  What defines us is how well we rise after falling." So..... I have contemplated over the situation and have decided to rise as high as I possibly can.... because when we believe in ourselves, we have the first secret of success.  I believe in what I do......  I believe in the people..... I believe! What about you?  Do you believe?

Inner Turmoil

This week I have encountered a few dear and close friends fighting a monster known as "Inner Turmoil".  The monster is difficult to calm as we feed it through helplessness, doubt, uncertainty, and guilt.  I sympathize because I have been there so many times, but I am not sure I have any words of wisdom to share.

When we have something in our life that is no longer,  (even if we do not like it)  it is a disapperance of something  that was once alive, vibrant, and unique. Now there is nothing but empty space which creates a cold void.  Our emotions are of a mix..... sad for the cold void, but not really missing the "thing" personally. It is like having an ugly chair in your living quarters.  You hate the chair but when you rid the demon from the room, you miss something in the space.  It has left a cold void in your room.  Sometime the inner turmoil will not leave until you orchestrate the closure of the empty space.....move furniture, buy a new chair, or realize the change of an empty space is perfect.

"Change is the fundamental building block of the human experience." (Rex Allen)

What fuels you?

One question most asked of me is, "How can you do what you do day after day?"  My answer is simple and one I will share before ending this blog.  First,  I worked for years in an occupation I was told by counselors that I would be successful in.  It did not occur to me that perhaps I was destined for other things.  Because I was brought up to be the best of whatever I chose, I worked hard to be a high producing and efficient employee.  However, I found my energy depleted, depression visited frequently, and negativity was my co-pilot.  There were days when I would sit in the parking lot physically ill just thinking about venturing inside.  

Thanks to someone who knew me better than I knew myself, I was given an opportunity to change careers. Valuable lessons were learned.  I found I could continue my education no matter what the age.  I found I could enjoy going to work each morning.  I found I was not a negative person but one of encouragement.   I learned that there are other choices for us which can improve quality of life by just being content and happy.  I learned I could be a balcony person.

So... the answer to the question is:
When a person loves what they do, that love naturally fuels the energy. That energy fuels a passion which in turn enables us to do what we do day after day and love it. 

What fuels you?

Years in Review

Yesterday while sorting through some items, I found my high school year book.  Of course, I had to take a break and read all the notes others had not so carefully written in the book. It surprised me to realize that people see me differently than I see myself, even many years later.  Those notes were amazing.  My plans were to  go West to California to be a beach bum and surf.   I do remember being quite impressed with the Beach Boys and envying their free life style.  However, apparently it never occurred to me that I did not swim nor like extreme heat.   I sat in "My Room"  for a while thinking about how fragile life was and how our plans can change in a fraction of a second. Some of my classmates have died, some have wasted away with drugs or alcohol, others who you least expected have become the masterminds of the world. As for me?  I am just me, and I did go west..... 8 whole miles.  In that 8 miles I .... revisited lessons taught,  explored new paths, strengthened relationships, met new acquaintances, raised a family, completed an education, sought adventures, experienced life's difficult times, and changed careers.  Although none of these were in my plan, they evidentally were in God's plan for me.  Life has proven to be rich in many ways, and I have no regrets.   So... For all those seeking hope, questioning a chosen path, or needing support, turn to your greater being who will always provide the answers.

Question of the day:  Who is the real me?  The me that other people see or the me I see?  How do you see yourself?

Happiness

"My Room" this morning offers me the serenity to reflect on my week.  John Shurin said: "Happiness is not in our circumstances, but in ourselves.  It is not what we see like a rainbow, or feel like the heat of a fire.  Happiness is something we are."  This phrase was proven to me this week when I counselled a lady that has left her footprint in many lives.  She is a single mother who has taken in, adopted, and raised neglected and abused children in the inner city. Sixteen of these troubled children have passed through her doors throughout her life.  The stories she shared about the children with mental illness, bipolar disorders, pregnancies and drug addictions touched my heart in ways I cannot even begin to explain.  God has given her these challenges and she has accepted without hesitation.  Happiness to her is giving children a loving home and watching them adjust to better circumstances.  Although there were tears on occasions, there was always a smile on her face and exuberation in her voice as she shared her stories.  What an angel our greater being has sent to take care of the children of our damaged world.  Thank you to all the Vickies who have the strength to accept the challenges handed to them and do it with love and happiness.

Treasures

My dog, Izzy, and I walk the south edge of the property each day searching for treasures. Izzy's treasures consist of sticks, pine cones, or lost items.  My treasures are in the form of nature.  I often marvel at how the rows of evergreens have grown and now boast proudly of nature's beauty. Each season the landscape changes which reminds me of the life cycle.  We go from spring of new life, to summer of warm breezes, to fall of amazing color to the dying of winter.... but we always come back to the new beginnings of spring.

I think we all need a place of solace with nature in order to be thankful for the gifts that have been handed to us.  Something as simple as the first flower of spring or the first robin can be a remedy for those who are grieving, sad, or scared.  With nature our problems diminish  reassuring us that there is a greater being who has provided us with new beginnings.

Rock Bottom

Eleanor Ditrick once wrote a "flutterby" entitled Hitting Rock Bottom.  In that reflection she stated, "When I get to rock bottom... wherever that is... God isn't alarmed that I hit rock bottom....God made the rock."  I am contemplating this reflection this morning as it has been a difficult week for me.  Although I am no where near rock bottom, my spirit has been challenged and has slid to a lower level.  How do we get to rock bottom?  We become observers rather than participants, and we lose our voices to the noises of life. When we do not participate and have a voice, we lose our ability to cope with change, illness, death, conflict, and poverty.  We need balcony people to pull us up to a higher level.  Who are your balcony people? 

Tapestries

Tapestries…. common threads woven together to produce a beautiful rug, pillow or blanket and displayed for others to see. Often tapestries become family treasures passed from one generation to another. In my mind, a tapestry of memories can represent just about anything that is important to us. In “My Room”, I have a quilt which was originally made by my mother in law. It is not beautiful, it is not fancy… in fact, it is pretty pathetic. It is beginning to wear and edges are unraveling, but it is my favorite snuggly item. When I am cold, I wrap myself in “my tapestry” which often generates memories of the person who worked diligently in its creation. What tapestry will I leave for those who follow me? Will they think of something I have materially made?  will they remember lessons learned, occasions celebrated, and love shared? Have I made an impact on family, friends or clients? Have I done my very best of talents God has given me? What is your tapestry?

Passion for Hospice

One of the passions in my life is my love for hospice and what it offers to those needing support.  It is not a medical model but rather a holistic model of caring for people.  Hospice care begins when curative treatment is no longer expected to be effective.  This care does not hasten nor postpone death, but respectfully recognizes dying as a natural process.  Support is given to patient and family members during this difficult time as pain is experienced in physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual forms.   Our hospice team comes to the patient, whether that be in his/her home, assisted living, or nursing home. The patient and family have choices, one of them being their choice of  hospices.  If the patient is in a nursing home which is serviced by more than one hospice, the patient and family must be given the opportunity to choose the hospice they would like.  They also have voice in their care.  These are the patient and family's rights.  Explore your options in order to make wise decisions. Once you have made these decisions, lean on your chosen team for support. Hospice is providing solutions in difficult time; it is being close in a time of fear, and it is a friend when needed.  God bless.

Roots and Wings

Roots and Wings... When our priest gave a message with this title, my  mind went immediately to a blog entry since it reminded me of the angel in "My Room" (sorry Father Lee).    Roots are important to me.  It is my heritage, my family, my beliefs, and it has made me the person I am today. Although I did not come from royalty or wealth,  I am a descendent of  hard working people who have strong faith, huge pride, and determined spirit.  I am proud of that heritage.  The wings bless us with the freedom that we are granted while on this earth to carry out our destiny.  Although we encounter huge, sometimes insurmountable obstacles along the path of living, we somehow find a way to rise above and move on. Those insurmountable obstacles almost always give us gifts in the form of lessons which form the character of our being.

Movies in My Room

Watching movies in "My Room" is one of my favorite things to do when all my work is done.  Several months ago I watched "The Bucket List".  If you haven't already watched this movie, I would recommend it to anyone.  I often since that time ask myself, "what would I do if I were in that situation?"  If you have watched it, let me know your thoughts.  What would you do?

Eye Candy

Good morning to all of you! I woke up this morning to eye candy.... a beautiful blanket of clean, white, sparkling, snow.... the first snow storm of the year. I have chosen to work from "My Room"  today as it is "safer" than out on the roads.  Sitting by the window, I can watch the snow fall and my thoughts are consumed with how beautiful the snow is to watch from the inside.  It looks so peaceful.  It provides a fresh coat of paint for an otherwise gloomy landscape.   But.... on the outside it is different.  Already there is havoc on the roads and schools have been cancelled.  Winter Storm Warnings and Advisories have been posted.  This beautiful sight has caused numerous problems for many people.  Looks can be deceiving....... much like a person grieving.  That person may look beautiful on the outside, tell you he/she is fine, and go through his/her daily routine as usual.  However, in a grieving person, the havoc is raging on the inside.  There is an underlying sadness that just will not leave, and it is difficult, if not impossible, to find joy. If you know someone who is grieving, be present for that person and offer support in any way they will accept.  It may be nothing more than a telephone call, an invitation to coffee, a ride someplace, or accompanying them to a grief support group.  Find their ground and walk with them.    God Bless!