New Wisdom

The new year is upon us and I think about New Year's resolutions but know they will probably never formulate into reality. It can be discouraging to realize how many times I have failed at improvement! I then wonder if it is just too late to change anything about me... I am just pretty much who I am at this stage of my life. Even though I cannot always live up to my own expectations, I do like to read inspirations which encourage me to be better. I recently read a quote from Julie Ann Ford which I shared with my readers in my January Newsletter. There are a couple of thoughts from that quote that I have chosen to share with you. 

Julie Anne states, "Learn to Love. Make commitments to what's important to you. Take risks for the things that truly matter. Remember love is not just something you feel, but the things you do. Give others the very best you have to offer, and leave the world a better place for what you have done and who you have been. Learn to live. Don't be afraid of growing, changing, or living your life. No matter where you go or what you do, the true joy of life lies in the journey---not the destination. Search for your purpose, seek out your passions, and do what you love. It's not how long you live, but how you choose to live the days you are given, so choose to make the most of every opportunity you receive."

So... to my loyal family, friends and readers, when making your New Years resolutions, think about what is important to you, what makes you happy, what inspires you, and think of what you want your journey to look like. God bless and Happy New Year.

Life's Boundaries

We are officially in the Christmas season and one witnesses all the activities that belong to that season.  After watching several Hallmark Christmas movies, I am amazed at how many ways they create the meaning of Christmas.  In one of the movies yesterday, there was a phrase that caught my attention:  "If a man's life is measured by the joy he brings to others, then his life has no boundaries". We develop our boundaries at an early age through parental disciplines and our own self image, worth and esteem.  It may take years for us to develop new boundaries, breaking down old walls and building new ones.  It is all about how we want to live our life and deciding what kind of person we want to be.  Christmas is always a good starting point as there are abundant opportunities to help other people, bring some small token of joy to a person's life, and create new friendships.  If you know of someone who is spending the holiday without family, invite them into your family and share your joy.......your life will be enriched and your boundaries will be diminished.  God bless and have a wonderful Christmas Season.

Life's baggage

When I was in my husband's shop this morning, I took time to notice exactly what was important to a man in his shop.  The usual items one would expect such as ladders, saws, tools, TV, lawn games, wood, items that belonged to his dad and other momentos of the past.  There were also multiple items that were of no use and I wondered why they are still a part of his life.  Why do we hold on to things that do not serve a purpose anymore?  As I thought and reasoned through this question, it seemed to resemble life in general.  How many of us go through life carrying years of inner baggage?  That baggage can resemble sadness, anger, guilt, resentment, jealousy and/or hurt to name a few.  Cleaning out that baggage is not as easy as cleaning out our tool shed.  We first have to take a look and identify what the inner baggage holds and why it is there.  What is your guilt from and how could you remedy it?  Why are you angry and how can you resolve the issue?  It is impossible to clear all your baggage quickly because it has taken years to accumulate it, so take things slowly one step at a time.  You will feel so much better when the  baggage is gone.

A Patient's Room of Requirement

It all begins with the question, "What are your goals?"  To our patient, it was a simple answer, "I would like to go shopping."  Now, if anyone is familiar with the magical world, we all know that the Room of Requirement is a magical room which can only be discovered by someone in need.  When discovered, the room is mysteriously equipped with everything the person needs.  Such was the case for the patient.  Upon the request for a shopping trip, her nurse presented the request to the rest of the hospice team and the wheels were put into motion.  Through a team effort, transportation was arranged, volunteers called, and staff responded with all the necessary arrangements to make this wish happen.  This week the patient's goal was reached.  Since the room was magically equipped for her, she was able to find everything she needed in the store of her choice.  Following the shopping, her day continued when the Room of Requirement was extended to the restaurant across the street where ten of the hospice team members gathered to celebrate her upcoming birthday.  It was similar to a family gathering where laughter was heard, food was wonderful, and stories were shared.  Staff members had purchased roses, a corsage, cupcakes and a few other personal items in order to make her birthday memorable.  The smile on the patient's face throughout the day told the story of how happy a met goal can make a hospice patient.  Sometimes life puts things in your path to show you where you belong.  Don't miss the opportunities that are presented to you.... the smiles are worth it!

Play With Your Pain

Charlie Chaplin once said, "To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain and play with it."
How do you play with your pain?  When I read this quote, my thoughts immediately went to a gentleman we referred to has Frogge.  He would share with us through humor his stories of mistakes, problems, dreams and life.  He always entertained us with his abilities to make his pain into a funny story.  I remember thinking at the time that this was a gift to be able to laugh at yourself and share those stories.  We see things not as they are, but as we are.  To Frogge, he chose to live, laugh, learn and move on.  I realize now that he was probably the most burden-free person in class!  When Charlie Chaplin refers to playing with your pain, I do not think it necessarily means to make humor out of it..... I think he refers to working with it to see where it takes you.  Where is your pain taking you?

Nature's Paths

Today as I sit in "My Room", I look out over the property and notice the changes in nature.  The weather has been hot and dry causing gardens to diminish in their produce, the grass shows paths of little critters, and flowers have lost their thriving capabilities.  One morning there were deer crossing the "fun" garden and with graceful movements jumped the fence and moved on.  A beautiful sight to have seen. Throughout my life, whenever I was struggling with problems, I had found my answers and solace by spending time in nature.  It is like there is no place to hide. ... the world is at my feet and nothing can bring me down.   Sometimes life puts things in our path to show us where we belong.  Don't miss what is right in front of you.

Heart - Seeing

This blog entry is not entirely a lonniesroom original.  The quote comes from the Thought For the Week in our morning bulletin, the verse being from Matthew 13:13, "They look but do not see."

"In our scientific age, we put great trust in hard evidence.  I want to see it!  The problem is that we don't often see what we're looking at.  I look at a person displaying ugly behavior, and I see an ugly person.  Why don't I see a beautiful person who is in pain and working it out through ugly behavior.  I hear someone's reputation being torn apart, and I see a reason for thinking better of myself.  Why don't I see my own insecurity that makes me want to believe the bad?    Until I see with my heart and not just appearances, I'm going to miss the reign of God."

I felt this was worth sharing because I have been working on this very subject in order to better understand family dynamics and grief outcomes. I have found that there are many reasons people act the way they do.  Once you take the time to listen and discover the reason, the person then appears differently.  It is all about Heart-Seeing.

THE TEN GALLON HAT!

In the Old West, the Ten Gallon Hat represented the "Boss of the Plaines".  We held respect for the man who wore a cowboy hat because that seemed to show that he was an authoritative figure, a hard worker of the land, and one who fought for what was his.  Even today we relate to people by the hat they wear.    

• We have a serviceman's hat... he is brave and strong in protecting our country while leaving his family to do so.  
• The policeman's hat... protecting our state, county and towns to keep us safe, while leaving his family to do so.  
• The Surgeon's cap... performing an emergency surgery a 2 am to save a life, while leaving his family to do so.  
• The Farmer's cap.... working diligently to feed the country, while leaving his family to do so.
• The Hard hat.... utilities working through the night so we may "see light", while leaving their families to do so.

But, none so great as the chemo hat...worn by the bravest, fighting for life, so that families do not have to be left at all.

"Hats Off" to those who sacrifice so much for others

Extraordinary Encounters

Charles Lauer wrote an editorial in which he said, "Wherever you go, there are fascinating people ready to make your acquaintance."  I have experienced that in the last two weeks by working with some extraordinary and remarkable people facing life altering transitions. Their love, their determination, their ability to hold on to hope, and their celebrations of life are inspirations.  Those we care for thank us for the jobs we do, but in actuality, we thank them for teaching us because in the nakedness of grief, we become a shadow of ourselves........ we dim in comparison to those who are living it.  God bless all the families who are facing a life transition and know you have my greatest respect and compassion.

Cartoon Character Quiz

Tonight in MY ROOM, I watched the angel dancing above me and I suddenly felt rather whimsical.  I decided my blog tonight would be something to make you smile... if only to say this was the dumbest blog you have ever read!  I started searching the internet for something and ran across, "Which Cartoon Character are you?"  Caught my attention immediately as I was curious as to what character I most likely resembled .   Okay.. I took the test and I chose the best answers I thought possible.   When it came to the interpretations... what do you think?  At first  I thought it might very well have been matching appearances rather than personalities. Now, for those of you who know me, you will get a chuckle out of this..  My character was "Tweety"!!!!  Now do you see why I thought perhaps they were matching looks?  A little hair spike? Orange lips? Flat feet?  Wiggle when one walks?   The personality traits included cute (alright, maybe doesn't match), everyone loves me (maybe not that either), best friend, never hurts feelings intentionally, life is a breeze, witty, calm and worry free. I think it probably matched appearances more than personality, but all in all.... it was a fun.

 Even though one cannot take this seriously, it gave me a momentary boost and a few chuckles.  We all from time to time need to step back and look at ourselves and at life and laugh at something... anything.... just laugh... it is a great stress releaser.

Blossoms of spring

After a busy day, I enjoy sitting by the patio door glancing out at the courtyard in full bloom of flowering trees of white and pink.  A few tulips spring up in pinks, and a creeping phlox of purple hues surround the pond.  I can once again see the Koi in the pond, and robins skip around looking for food.   It is usually this time of year when I am amazed at the beauty of the earth and think there is not a more beautiful place.  Of course, I think that in the fall with all the beautiful harvest colors, and after the first snow fall of the winter
season.  The quality of our lives begin with our appreciation of God's creation.  With that appreciation we become the positive thinker who sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible.  We are therefore blessed.

My prayers go out to those who have suffered tragedy in the recent tornado outbreaks, in floods and fires, and have lost so much of their beauty and inner peace.

The Dance

I listen to a lot of country music,... mainly because I can understand what is being sung, and I like the melodies.  However, I have noticed that the male singers sing about their beautiful women and the women sing about cheating men.  Interesting, isn't it?  No matter what the song or who sings it, there are always phrases that catch my listening ear.  For instance... The Dance.... where Garth Brooks sings, "And now I'm glad I know the way it all would end, the way it all would go.   Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance."  How many times in our own lives things have not gone the way we thought they would but the journey was an experience we would have otherwise missed?  That journey might have been filled with both joy and heartache, but the memories can often change the landscape of everything else in our life.  So... my advice to my readers....don't worry about the end... enjoy the moment.... enjoy the Dance!

Embracing Life

Iroquois Memorial Hospice recently noted their 15th anniversary in providing end of life care to our community.  How privileged we feel to be asked to experience that journey with the patients and their families.  The dying teach us so much about life and living.  I often think if we only had that knowledge at the beginning of our life instead at the end of our life, what a difference our lives might be.  We might take more time to know our neighbor, to understand someone's pain, to be present when someone needs a hug.
The sky might be bluer, the grass greener, the flowers prettier.  Our goals and values might be better, and we may pause to experience life and all its joys, love and wonders.  I think periodically I need to stop and smell the roses, appreciate those around me who offer their love endlessly, and thank my Greater Being for the blessings I so abundantly have been given.  We use 80% of our Emotional Quotient and only 20% of our intelligence quotient..... and that is not all bad.  It shows me that we do embrace life, use our gifts and have a spirit of belonging and love.....and that we often follow our heart.  God Bless.

Star's End

Prior to this week, I had been questioning where my star was leading me and if I should follow a star that led me into uncertain territory.  I turned to my Greater Being for guidance, asking for a directional sign, one of purpose,  one that I cannot misinterpret.  Several days this week I was placed in the path of misfortune and tragedy of others who so desperately needed support, understanding and love. Although it has been an extremely emotional and draining week, I undoubtedly know that God has shown me my star's trail.  I am meant to use whatever talents I have been blessed with to be present for those who are experiencing life's difficult trials.    In this search of life and self, I am reminded of something Friedrick Nietzsche wrote: "On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain; either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow."  Where are you in your search for your star of life and self?

Our Role

Have you raised your face to the stars and looked for your guidance?  It leads me to wonder what my role will be once I find that star and follow it.    Does this inner feeling that I am to “move on” have anything to do with the star I am looking for?  More importantly, am I capable of changing roles from something familiar, to something unknown?   As I sit in “My Room” and ponder these questions, I reflect on our grieving families.   Their family structure and roles change as a disease progresses and death becomes reality within the family unit.  As a rule, there is always a “pivot” person…. the go to person….. the in-charge person…. the organizer…. the consoler.  My role now is to console the consoler and support that pivot person throughout the process.  It feels natural for me to be in this role.  Could I change to another role?  All good questions for which I have no answers.  Where are you in your star search?  Share your thoughts.

Your Star

This blog stems from a thought which appeared in our Missalette this morning and I felt it was worth sharing.  It was about the Christmas Star and how men traveled a long journey to find unknown joy where the star led them which changed lives forever.  What if you have a star that is prompting you to take an unexpected journey to an unknown destination.  Would you seek out that destination?  Your destination could be something wonderful such as a new job, new member of the family, new friends.....; or it could be a hurtful destination such as illness, lost relationships,  etc.  Perhaps your journey is an internal one.  As we begin 2011, accept your journey with enthusiasm and see where the star leads you.  We always have high hopes for any new year, so I encourage you to look to the sky for your star....embrace it and have faith that the end of the journey will be worth the obstacles you encountered in getting there, and your gifts are the lessons you learned along the way.  Look for your star!  God bless!