The Christmas Box

I ran across across an explanation written and shared by the famous author, Richard Paul Evans, that I thought was appropriate to share with my readers.  It is entitled:  The Christmas Box

"The human life cycle no less than evolves around the box; from the open-topped box called a bassinet, to the pine box we call a coffin.  The Box is our past and just as assuredly, our future.  It should not surprise us then that the lowly box plays such a significant role in the first Christmas story.  For Christmas began in a humble, hay-filled box of splintered wood.  The Magi, wise men who had traveled far to see the infant king, laid treasure-filled boxes at the feet of the Holy Child.  And in the end, when He had ransomed our sins with His blood, the Lord of Christmas was laid down in a box of stone.  How fitting that each Christmas season brightly wrapped boxes skirt the pine boughs of Christmas trees around the world"

Evening Challenges

I sit in my room today watching my angel swaying and I am thankful for so many blessings in my life.  The beauty of the snow today reminds me of God's greatness.  During our support group,  I was asked what people can do to pass time after their spouse has died.  I suggested that be the topic of conversation for our meeting tonight.  What does one do when alone and grieving the company of a loved one?

Keeping busy is usually a good thought, but often our minds and bodies are not cooperating with what we should do.  I remember several years ago a gentleman in our support group stated that he could not stand to stay home in the evening after his wife died.  He would make the rounds to all the coffee shops just to have company.  By the time all the coffee shops were closed, he was tired enough to go to bed and sleep.  I do believe he met a wonderful lady in one of those shops which he later in life married.  This is not a recommended solution for everyone, but for him, it worked.

Everyone has a different goal in life and an idea of how they may be able to survive this grieving syndrome.

Some suggestions or thoughts would include:  Crafts, crocheting, knitting, scrapbooking, painting, puzzles, coloring, etc.  You could also start to blog (it is a wonderful stress relief.... ).  I have also found that writing your daily "Dear God Letters" is a wonderful thing to do in the evenings... thanking him for your day and the blessings you noted for that day.  If you  are a reader, it is a quiet time to read your favorite book or watch all the wonderful Hallmark Christmas movies. Putting puzzles together also passes a great deal of time in the evening.

These are just a few things that you can try to see which one is beneficial to you.  Evenings are also a great time to eat with a friend, volunteer to help someone who needs it, run errands for someone, or a time to clean those closets.  The problem is most of the time our grief saps our energy so that we do not want to do anything.  A perfect time to talk with God.

Fairytale Magic

  "If you can see the magic in a Fairytale, you can face the future."  Danielle Steele

During the Knapp Memorial Service Sunday, I asked for you to do some homework and let me know what you have discovered about childhood fairytales, etc.  Please share your findings.... I am anxious to hear from you.

Glory and Praise

This is a blog which I hope will give you a little faith and inspiration.   My mom has been staying with me a few months during a convalesing period.  From the beginning I was not sure I knew how to care for her or even if I could.  Our house is not necessarily built or arranged for such not-so-easy times.  I began this journey by praying that God would be with us, would give me strength, would provide healing, patience, and love.  It has been an interesting journey.  When I needed something... it was there.  When I needed help..... it was there.  When I needed patience.... I took a deep breath and it was there. We have discovered how to do many things... including climbing stairs.  Every day I thank God for his presence in our lives and for his healing hand.

 Tuesday I heard on the radio and TV  that the area should be prepared for this very large amount of rain.... my prayers continued.   My thoughts were that we just could not handle the day where our energies would be focused solely on a basement of water and pumps.  Wednesday morning I awoke to water surrounding the farm buildings and the drainage ditch full of water, which is always a sign of  danger in the basement.  We immediately went to the basement to begin our day long routine of pumping and mopping to find it.... you guessed it.... dry!  How can that be?  God heard our prayers and I am forever thankful.  I truly give him glory and praise for that miracle on a day when we needed it.  I continue my prayers for everyone who has been effected by the high water this week.

26 Lessons Learned

As promised in my last blog, I am going to share with you Mare Chernoff's 26 lessons learned by the age of 26

1.   Being an adult can be fun when you are acting like a child
2.   Love has nothing to do with looks, but everything to do with time, trust and interest.
3.   Laughing, crying, joy and anger...all are vital.  All make us human.
4.   The greatest truths in life are uncovered with simple, steady awareness.
5.   Greed will bury even the lucky eventually.
6.   Bad things do happen to good people.
7.   Paving your own road is intelligent only if nobody has gone exactly where you are going.
8.   Uncertainty is caused by a lack of knowledge.  Hesitation is a product of fear.
9.   Time heals all wounds... regardless of how you feel right now.
10.  Most of the time what you are looking for is right in front of you.
11.  Your health is your life.
12.  Chance is a gift, so act on chance when given the opportunity.
13.  Kindness and hard work will take you further than intelligence.
14.  People deserve a second chance, but not a third.
15.  Marry your best friend.
16.  Take lots of pictures.  Someday yo will really be glad you did.
17.  Money makes life easier only when the money is yours free and clear.
18.  Carelessness is the root of failure.
19.  Your actions now create memories you will reminisce and talk about in your elder years.
20.  Stepping outside of your comfort zone will put things into perspective from an angle you can't  
        grasp now.
21.  Motivation comes in short bursts.  Act while it's hot.
22.  Purposely ignoring the obvious is like walking backwards toward the enemy.
23.  Taking ownership of failure builds the foundation of success.
24.  First impressions are completely worthless 50% of time.
25.  Personal glory lasts forever.
26.  If you never act, you will never know for sure.

Life on a 3x5

I was going through some old papers and found an article I wrote a few years ago that I felt would be worth sharing today.  There was a movie starring Jennifer Anise.  The movie placed her in New York city where she owned a small floral shop.  While meeting with a potential client, she handed him her business card stating, "My Life On a 3x5".  Immediately my feelings were rather sad for anyone who would think their life could be summed up on a 3 x 5 pieces of paper.  There is so much more to life than that... it can fill a book!  Ours is but a journey into ourselves.  Our life is like a book that we write throughout our life by dancing, singing, smiling, trusting, loving, laughing, crying, learning, dreaming, remembering, working, winning, losing, and healing.  Life on earth is to be lived, even through those difficult times as it all becomes part of our book.  Those difficult times teaches us lessons that we carry forward.  In my next blog I will share with you Mare Chernoff's 26 Life Lessons learned by the age of 26.  Stay tuned!

Never too Late or Old!!

Twenty plus years ago when we bought our property, we planted 100 or so evergreen trees which we hoped someday would provide privacy and wind break.  Now 20 plus years later, it is time to clean up those huge evergreens.  Over years, vines grow up and smother those greens which requires trimming and shaping.  Since I am now retired, I have experienced  the chore of assisting in that task.  My husband has taught me a great deal.  For instance.... attire must be of long sleeves, gloves, shoes that can withstand sap, and hat or headband....all learned the hard way of course.  Secondly, one always piles branches with base toward you so they are easier to load and unload. Thirdly, there are certain words one pays attention to such as Heads up, help, oops, sh--! and run.  There are also a few words that one takes no offense to such as "sappy", "creeping", and ugly ... not referring to any person in attendance thank goodness.  It has been a huge task and we are only half way done, but.... it has been a learning experience and something I have not experienced previously.  So..... it is never too late or we are never too old to experience something different, something difficult, or something unexpected.
Tackling something new, no matter how easy or work intensive, expands our knowledge base and adds to our self worth.  Besides.... we sleep very well at night!

Remembrance Day

Today is a special remembrance day... it is the 60th anniversary of my brother's death.  60 years! Wow.... that is a long time!  I decided I needed to visit the cemetery where he was buried.  Of course, my second thought was that one never goes to visit someone without taking something.  What would he like....."  A cookie of course!  After stopping at the store and buying a pack of M&M cookies, I continued my journey.    Just as in our childhood... he got one and I got five... that is the way an older sister counts.  One for you and five for me.  The only thing missing was the battering back and forth.  .... that and the milk we usually had to go with it.  Sound silly?  Of course but it lightens a heavy heart.

Fathers Day Thoughts

Father’s Day is just around the clock corner and I am preparing cards and special thoughts for the men in our family.  My father and father in law are no longer with us and it is a perfect time to miss them but thankful they are in a great place.  As with many in our small town, we cannot help but think of Fathers Day 47 years ago when a train derailed resulting in a day long fight with exploding tank cars, fire, and uncertainty.  Every year our community comes together to thank God no one died and by His grace we recovered and united.  We discovered that  things we thought were so very important were not.  What was and still is important is our faith and belief in God, unity in our community, and love for our families.  With this thought in mind, I hope everyone takes a few moments to consider what is important in your life and be thankful.  Happy Father’s Day to all you men who love and care so deeply.

What Do You Do?

My inspiration today has come from a book which my supervisor gave to me when I retired.  I loved this little book so much that I have read it three times.  It is entitled, "What Do You Do With An Idea?" written by Kobi Yamada.  It actually is a children's book I believe, but the meaning and the illustrations are wonderful.  It is a story about an idea and the child who helps bring it to life.  How many times have we had ideas that we thought were wonderful but no one else did?  How many times did those ideas not come to reality because we were afraid to try?  This book encourages us to have faith in ourselves and our ideas because one day that idea may change the world!

A Diffendoofer Day!

Yes!  It was a Diffendoofer Day!  I decided to review my old posts and realized it has been a year since I have exercised my writing skills in this form.  Shame on me!  Writing is a relaxant for me and something I enjoy. Consequently when Life gets too busy to do the things you enjoy,.... time to take a step back and make a change.  I am reminded of Dr. Seuss Book entitled "Hooray for Diffendoofer Day".  The book is all about children realizing that school and learning can be fun and silly and exciting.  It encourages the children of the Diffendoofer School to excel and have fun while doing it.... releasing those smart cells in the brain.  That is the way I felt this morning as I started this blog again... Hooray for Today!  It feels good to sit and let the creativeness in captivity escape.  What is going to be your Diffendoofer Day Plans?

Step Out of the Box

One of our traditions for the ladies in our family is to attend the Sugar Creek Symphony and Song opera production each year.  This year the opera was The Magic Flute.  It was an outstanding performance and one of my favorites.  Leila Bowie played Pamina, Gennard Lombardozzi played Tomino and my favorite character was Reuben L. Lillie who played Papageno, the "bird man".   The costumes were beautiful, the music outstanding, the casting was perfect and it was "funny"!  Everyone needs to try different things, laugh, enjoy the moment and share that moment with those you enjoy being with.   I sometimes think that in our everyday life we get so busy we forget to do things that make us laugh.  Instead of concentrating on meeting deadlines and checking off items on a to-do list, let's step out of the box, do something fun, and laugh!  Laughing is good for the soul!

There is a verse I read on an American Greeting Card which read:  "Hope is not pretending that troubles don't exist....It is the trust that they will not last forever, that hurts will be healed and difficulties overcome.  It is the faith that a source of strength and renewal lies within to lead us through the dark to the sunshine."

Let us keep in mind as we forge forward on our journey through the difficult winter to emerge and bask in the sunshine of spring.  It is coming... I promise!  In July when we are complaining of the heat, retrieve those pictures you took this winter.  It is not that these snow storms all of a sudden got smaller or the winter has lessened.... it is just that they have lost their ability to overwhelm.  Think Spring!

New Year 2014 -- A New Chapter

I look at this new year as a new chapter in my life, and as this new chapter opens, it is  full of hope, excitement and curiosity.  I am anxiously anticipating being involved in family activities as always.  Ball games and recitals and holiday events to name a few.  Mind plans are in motion for activities and outreach programs for hospice.  I am trying not to dwell on insecurities with healthcare plans and cutbacks but to rely on my faith to keep me moving on through the dark tunnels we all face in life. I believe it is important to concentrate on the positives, and to laugh at silly things.  I want to skip through life like a child and be happy with what we have.  As I watch the Rose Bowl Parade with the theme, "Dreams Come True", I think how appropriate to start the New Year.  Dream a little or a lot, anything is possible during this year, and we can do anything we put our minds to.  Have a great chapter!

Could Have Been Me... But it wasn't!

I want to share something with you today that a friend had forwarded to me.    I do not know the author or precisely where this was taken from... but it could have been me at any time in the last year.  I chuckled as I read it and thought .. oh yeah.... could have been me.  Hope you enjoy and share in the wisdom of the words.
"Lord, Thou knowest me better than I know myself, that I am growing older and will someday be old.  Keep me from getting talkative, and particularly from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion.  Release me from craving to try to straighten out everybody's affairs.  Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details, and give me wings to get to the point.  I ask for grace enough to listen to the tales of others, help me to endure them with patience, but seal my lips on my own aches and pains.  They are increasing and my love of rehearsing them is increasing as the years go by.  Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally it is possible that I may  be mistaken."

Remedy Drive is a Christian rock group from Lincoln, Nebraska.  The following is a quote from David Zach, one of the members of the group.  I thought the quote was worth sharing with my followers:
"I see two tendencies in my own life:  I either get burned out by the weight of a situation and lose hope...., or I tend to put my hope in something that is not going to sustain the weight of my human heart.  But, there is always hope in the most desperate of times and the darkness must precede the dawn.  No matter what you are going through, hold on..... becasuse daylight is coming."

Share a Story or Two!

As a grief counselor, I am a big fan of stories.    Stories are often how we introduce ourselves to others, find our common ground, build relationships and learn from others.  Vera Nazarian said  "The world is shaped by two things... stories told and the memories they leave behind".   I often refer to my grandfather who was always telling us silly stories, slapping his knee and laughing. I can't remember a single story, but I will always remember his character. Telling stories can make sense of the insensible, and leave great memories in their wake. He is a great memory.  What are some of your great memories?  Want to share?

Gifts

Happy New Year to all my readers and followers.  I would like to start this year with a quote from  Neale Donald Walsch.

"Be a gift to everyone who enters your life.... you can always be a gift because you always are the gift... yet sometimes you don't let yourself know that.  When someone enters your life unexpectedly, look for the gift."

I look back over 2012 and think of all the people who entered my life during the year and the gifts they left in their wake.  Gifts come in all forms... a thought, a prayer, a word, a deed, an item, an emotion, a most unusual friendship, support or a smile.  How grateful I am for all those who took the time to be a gift to me.   May 2013 bring many small and meaningful gifts to you.

Inspirations

To my followers.... my apologies for not blogging for several months.  I found myself to be on overload and the creativity just wasn't present.  Today I am trying to get back to basics and reconnect to those who follow my blog.    This last Sunday I had the honor of presenting the Memorial Message for Knapp Funeral Home Memorial Service.  What an honor that was for me.  As I looked out over the overflowing crowd, I recognized so very many of those attending.. either by hospice, support group, emergency department, or friends and business associations.  I feel that God has blessed me by giving me the opportunity to do what I do.  I meet remarkable people who struggle with great strength in an attempt to find some normalcy in life during the grieving turmoil.  Kristin Heitzmann once said, "Grief is a coat you put on and off, wearing it only until it has warmed the chill of loss, but not so long as to take the edge from memory."  My advice to those grieving is to embrace life... use your experience and gifts with inspiration and zeal to help others who are just beginning the journey you have traveled.

Knight in Denim and Plaid

Valentine Day this week brought back some great reminders for me that I  would like to share with my readers.  First, it reminded me that some of the simplest things in life are the hardest to do.... saying thank you, saying I'm sorry, saying I appreciate you, saying I love you.   I personally have a Knight in denim and plaid who changes my light bulbs, who scoops the walks and drive, who walks my dog, who hauls my garbage, who buys me little things just because he wants to.   Over the last 45 years we have raised a family, spoiled grandchildren, traveled, had some difficult moments, had losses and grief and have experienced scars which we carry in our souls where they aren't seen.....all part of life.  Life is not orderly or neat.  Often it is confusing and messy, but we cannot quit hearing the music and loving the players.  Thank you to my Knight in Denim and Plaid.